Drunk On Christmas Spirits

by Better Promises

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about

I wrote a recorded this whole album on my own (Not including Cold Christmas). The album features 7 Christmas songs that were written over the span of the last four year. I say Christmas songs but perhaps they are just written about Christmas. Just don't expect Happy Bangers errtime. Hopefully this EP is as enjoyable as it is eclectic. Thanks for Listening. Merry Christmas!!!

credits

released December 24, 2014

Album Title Credit: Kevin Hoogerwerf

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Better Promises San Jose, California

Brandon Gross is making music.

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Track Name: I'm a Sexy Penguin
We posed for pictures in front of a big Christmas tree
Inside of a fancy hotel, Too bad the picture came out blurry
We stuck our heads through holiday cuts outs, I was a penguin
You we're a snowman. We were cute. You we're cute, you're still cute

We were in the back seat of a taxi
We were laughing
Telling the cabbie to go
It was Christmas
We were happy
Shopping bags in our hands
Heads covered in snow

You made me try on a scarf and a peacoat
Who would have known I'd look sexy in both
Or at least that's what you told me
Not the new me, but the old me
The one you liked

The one that was sitting in the back seat of a taxi
We were laughing
Telling the cabbie to go
It was Christmas
We were happy
Shopping bags in our hands
Heads covered in snow

I've got an in with Santa clause
He gave me one wish, anything I want
I should have wished to cure the world of aids
Instead I wished to go back to the day

That We were sitting in the back seat of a taxi
We were laughing
Telling the cabbie to go
It was Christmas
We were happy
Shopping bags in our hands
Heads covered in snow
Track Name: Snow One is Going To Ruin Our Christmas
No ones gonna ruin our christmas
Cause I've got you and that's all I need

We could walk hand in hand downtown
Sneaking into places that we're not allowed
Let's pretend like we're kids again
I don't what it is about this holiday spirit
But it's bringing out the best in me
Through all these christmas lights and christmas trees
There's a sense of adventure that I'm rediscovering with you
I feel like a 10 year old kid looking for something fun to do

We'll make our own traditions this year
Hanging out at the beach on christmas night
Bonfires and cheap canned beers
Singing christmas carols with no end in sight
I think this might be the best christmas I've ever had
With you right by my side, I mean what more could a guy ask

I didn't buy you anything for christmas
What I lack in money I can make up in kisses

and wishes crossed off your bucketlist
Track Name: Cold Christmas
Cold Christmas
It’s that time of the year
When Santa flies by on his reindeer
And drops nothing down my chimney
On this holiday of jealousy
It’s a mockery
But for once I’m filled with glee
Because you taught me Christmas cheer
And it’s just a shame that you’re not here
And I want to know, Do you miss me?
And if I hung the mistletoe, Would you kiss me?
Cause I can hear the sleigh bells ring
And I can hear the carolers sing
But I just want to hear you whisper in my ear
Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year

So it’s Christmas time again
And I don’t want to think about
The gingerbread men or the mistletoe
It’s so upsetting how
I made it this far all winter
Without even wishing you we’re here
But there’s something about this time of year
That brings me down
There’s nothing left to celebrate
And this eggnog won’t calm my nerves
I guess I’ll go for a drive
And look at all the decorations in the city
Just like you said we would this year
I guess Christmas is finally here

And I’m Cold cause it’s Cold outside (Please come home)
And you’re Cold cause you’re Cold inside (Please come home)

And I want to know, do you miss me? There’s nothing left to celebrate
And if I hung the mistletoe, would you kiss me? And this eggnog won’t calm my nerves
Cause I can hear the sleigh bells ring I guess I’ll go for a drive
And I can hear the carolers sing And look at all the decorations in the city
But I just want to hear you whisper in my ear Just like you said we would this year
Merry Christmas and have a happy New Year I guess Christmas is finally here
Yeah Christmas is here
So have a happy New Year
I guess Christmas is finally here
And have a happy New Year
Track Name: Your Heart is Colder Than the North Pole
I hope on your drive back home this christmas
You get hit by a big fat big rig
But you will still be alive
Your christmas spirit will be the only thing that dies
I hope you get nothing on your wish list
And that Your stocking is full of Santa's piss
I hope you drink moldy eggnog
I hope for christmas all you get is socks
I hope you spill hot coco on your favorite shirt
And then your christmas cookies all get burnt
I hope that castroville gets hit by a tsunami and then a big fat blizzard
But you will still be alive
Your house frozen solid in ice
Actually that kinda sounds cool, pun intended
Like living in an igloo
But you won't be happy about anything at all
It will be colder then the north pole
You'll get frostbite and loose the feeling
On all your fingers and toes (it gets worse)
I hope someone collapses your gingerbread house
And then an earthquake collapses your real house
I hope you get trapped between the floor and the roof
And in the process you break your neck too
I hope termites start eating your christmas tree
And then the termites start eating you alive
You'll stay trapped there for long enough and no one will find you
Until you eventually die

I don't care how but I hope you die on christmas day
I hope it happens in the most festive of ways
Since we are no longer housemates
You might as well be dead
Track Name: Death of CHRISTmas
The death of god
The death of me
The death of everything
Keep singing the carols so nobody knows a thing
Hallelujah, baby it's cold outside
When there's nothing left to believe in

I'm taking a holiday
From christ mas this year
And probably every year to come
It's a waste of our time
Worshipping the idol of your bible
If there is a god
He's not like that

Hang me like a wreath
Cover me with a sheet
And ignore me
Like the questions that I asked
Track Name: Do You Want To **** A Snowman?
Sam?

Do you wanna fuck a snowman?
I know it sounds a little bold
We'll make one out of snow
And fuck it even though
Our dicks will get cold
We used to be fuck buddies
And now we're not
I'm starting to wonder why
I think we need to fuck a snowman
We need to double team a snowman

Go away Brandon

Okay, bye...

(Knocking)
Do you want to fuck a snowman
I'll be in front, you be behind
Eiffel tower near the fireplace
Melt of half it's face
Then fuck it in the eyes
(We could even use the carrot)
It gets a little old
Sitting in my room
Masturbating the days away

Sam?
Please, I know you're in there,
People are making fun of me
They say that I can't fuck piles of snow
This habits got to go
They won't let me be
Winter's almost over
The Snow is almost gone
I know what we've got to do
Can we just fuck a snowman